What to do when your colleague makes a smelly lunch every day

Question:

Many years ago, I worked at an organisation with a well-appointed kitchen and meals area in the very middle of the office. A new employee began bringing their lunch in, and their favourite meal was curried egg sandwiches. They made the sandwiches almost from scratch, even boiling the eggs in the kitchen.

The smell was quite powerful and, because of the position of the kitchen, it was unavoidable. Some people found it disgusting and began to grumble. Then one day a colleague – a ‘colourful’ character who didn’t care what anyone thought of him – burst into the kitchen while his colleague was boiling and hollered the words “YUK! EGGY, EGGY, EGGY!” The new employee never cooked eggs again.

I’ve long since left this workplace, but was thinking about this incident recently because of a similar workplace smell that the ‘owner’ makes day after day. Should I make a loud display of displeasure to stop this stench as my colleague did all those years ago?

Illustration by John Shakespeare
Illustration by John ShakespeareCredit:

Answer:

As I was drafting this week’s Work Therapy, my six-year-old daughter, who’s just starting to read, came and sat beside me and asked what the word was that I’d written three times in a row in all caps. I asked her to have a go at it. She did and was shocked when I told her that she’d got it right.

“But what does it mean?” she asked tentatively, knowing I write about jobs and work. “I know it doesn’t mean the smell.”

Of course, it does mean the smell. And for that reason, this may be one of the most childish and brilliant workplace pronouncements I’ve ever heard about. Childish because even a six-year-old knows it’s not something any adult would generally say while at work, let alone three times in quick succession. But brilliant because it sounds like it had the desired effect without requiring any conflict – and only (presumably) minor embarrassment.

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You haven’t said what the odour affecting your current place of work is, but I’m imagining how your own version of this absurd chant might go. “YUK! FISHY, FISHY, FISHY!” just doesn’t have the same ring. “CHEESY, CHEESY, CHEESY” is similarly tepid. And what would you shout if you’re dealing with durian or boiled Brussels sprouts?

I’m not saying you should totally discount this tactic. It hums with it’s-so-crazy-it-just-might-work energy. It certainly has novelty and shock value, and you’ve witnessed its (almost unbelievable) efficacy. But, here’s my problem: is it really you? Is it really anyone except that colourful character at your former place of work? He sounds like one out of the box and perhaps only he was capable of pulling off such an unlikely feat. Yes, you could modify the declaration – retain the “loudness” and “displeasure” as you put it, but eschew the silly-word repetition. But would it still be the same? Would it have the same power? I’m not convinced.

By all means make it clear to your colleague that the new smell is making your stomach turn, but my advice would be to think carefully about whether yelling, or bursting into a room for that matter, is really necessary. Although your former colleague proves it can be effective when pulled off by an eccentric jester, it’s more often used as a wholly unsuccessful gambit by bullies and incompetent loudmouths. Often both.

No, I think you should cherish “EGGY, EGGY, EGGY!” as a weird and wonderful career memory, but perhaps don’t treat it as a template for low-level workplace dispute resolution.

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Source: Thanks smh.com